Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
