Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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