My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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