No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
