apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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