Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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