sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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