But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
