Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
