my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
