you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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