I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
