i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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