i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
