Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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