I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize