on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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