Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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