she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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