yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
