my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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