she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
