TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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