i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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