Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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