So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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