i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
