Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
