She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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