bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
