Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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