it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize