the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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