On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
my poor anus
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
