Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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