I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
