How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
