Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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