WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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