what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
