I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
