If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
