the condom got lost in my hair
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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