I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
