Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also, beer. Big fan.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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