there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
