please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
