I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
