He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize