After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
