Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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