i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
