A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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